‘Like a good wine’: Your views on whether marriage gets better after 20 years

ABC Radio Melbourne

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April 24, 2018 15:42:35
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“You have to understand that life is going to throw certain things in your way and they’re not necessarily deal-breakers.”You just have to work together to find a way around them or over them and it is so well worth it in the end.”

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A match made in soap opera heaven. “We were introduced by mutual friends at the Prince of Wales Hotel in St Kilda. After 30 years our now wheels spin smoothly … He has been married for 39 years. That’s around the same time couples’ participation in shared activities begins to increase and perhaps coincides with adult children leaving home.While we know that not everyone in a successful long-term relationships has tied the knot, we asked ABC Radio Melbourne listeners for their thoughts on whether marriage became better after 20 years. “Arranged marriages are interesting because they have different expectations from a love marriage. It’s what you don’t sayGail said the secrets to a happy marriage were the five things a day you don’t say. You don’t stand together so close that one shades the other, you let each other stand apart and grow into their own tree so that they don’t shadow each other. (Tony Gentile: Reuters)
When a roadie met a punkAndy from Torquay celebrated his 29th wedding anniversary last Sunday.He was 25 when he and his wife married. “My wife, when we got married, she chose a poem to be read at the service. (AP Photo: Michael Sohn)
When the wheels spin smoothlyOne anonymous listener texted in to pass on some advice her mother-in-law gave her when she was first married. “I think that’s really important. “In a love marriage you meet someone and you think you are the perfect person, that’s your expectation, and then you can only be disappointed from there. “I’ve got a lovely marriage and it is not easy at times, particularly bringing up kids and the pressures of mortgages and financial stuff and other stuff that gets in the way, but it is really worthwhile. “So you start one with low expectations and one with high and it’s about where you go from there.”

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One thing’s for sure, marriage isn’t all smooth sailing. “It’s for the long haul, it’s for a lifetime, so you make a real solid adult commitment to the marriage. You just need the right 4WD”It’s like a rocky road at times so you need the appropriate 4WD vehicle equipped with tolerance, empathy, similar moral and ethical values and filled with lashings of kindness,” Frank from Panton Hill said. She has been married for 29 years but admitted she didn’t always remember this wisdom.Love, laughter and listeningBarb from Dandenong has been married for more than 40 years and has four amazing children. (ABC Open contributor Simon Pickering )
An expert opinionDeakin University associate professor Gery Karantzas said the study, published in the journal Social Networks and the Life Course, bucked the trend of what had been found in most previous studies. “These kinds of things are key things that we know keep relationships ticking over, irrespective of how long couples have been together for.” “You spend the first years knocking the teeth off the cogs. I think you need to let the other person be themselves.”

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The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge will celebrate their seventh wedding anniversary on April 29. just a little sand every now and then to keep it interesting.”Managing expectationsBreakfast host Sami Shah said most of his friends in Pakistan had arranged marriages.”In large parts of the world it’s just a common thing to happen,” he said. He warned 20 years was by no means a “magic number”. “We also know that the divorce rate actually spikes between 20 and 25 years of marriage,” he said. “I firmly believe in the three Ls — love, laughter and listening.”Like good wineLana has been married for 42 years.”Married life is better than ever,” she said. When was the happiest time in your marriage?New research from the United States has shown that for many couples the happiest period is after they hit the 20-year milestone. “In arranged marriages, your only expectation is please don’t be a serial killer and your expectations can build from there. “I’m not particularly a fan of the format but it does take place and some people swear by it. Kylie Minogue and Jason Donovan on Neighbours in 1987. It’s about the oak and the elm. “The secret is tolerance to change in body shape, acknowledge [your] partner’s achievements, you marry your partner’s family [and] being prepared to compromise and negotiate your point of view.”

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Chinese diver Qin Ki proposed to silver medalist He Zi during the medal ceremony at the 2016 Rio Olympics. “I guess the moral of the story is we [as academics] tend to look at the kinds of things that make relationships work, what are couples doing on the ground?”The things that we do know is that being able to resolve conflicts effectively, being able to ride out challenging times in a relationships really does matter, as well as the ability to kind of trust your partner, and to ask for help as well as to give the right kinds of help when it’s needed to a partner. I was a roadie for a grunge band at the time and my wife was a punk,” he said.His advice to other couples in the early years of married life was to “just stay the course”.”Things do get rocky, they do get bumpy, but if you do honestly love each other, you will overcome those things,” he said. “It is like a good wine and gets better as time goes by.”Compromise and negotiationDuke from Macleod has been married for 43 years.
Related Story:
Living happily ever after in arranged marriage
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We asked listeners for their thoughts on whether marriage became better after 20 years. (freeimages.com: cmpt)

Scarlxrd – SUNDAY AFTERNXXN. Lyrics

Overthinking shit non-stop
Head down, make it work
All this thinking got me on one
I’ve been drinking on my own
All this liquor got me fucked up
I like to kick it alone
If you leave me no love lost
Laugh at the sight at my paper overflowing
Takes me back to the time I believed when I was chosen
For these plans in my life, let them talk shit they don’t know us
I just let the past die I get racks and then I blow it, yeah, haha
Lately I’m thinking too far
Should realise I’m a star
No one can fuck with my heart
Let alone tell me about art
‘Bout to be bigger than y’all
I’ll let my salary talk
Been my own light in the dark
Keeping my fingertips sharp
Wake up I’m way up I stay there
My state and my actions still set me afar from the bar
Fuck it, I’m raising the bar
You can not chin up to levels above
Typically actions will tear me apart
Better be saving those racks that you got
Put my best forward on this ground that isn’t solid
I’ve been getting used to all the shit that used to make me vomit
Tried to get ahead with fortune, yah
Otherwise, life gets boring, yah
You’re following sheep to the slaughterhouse
Now you can’t say I ain’t warn you
Time is still ticking it’s daunting
Play this shit loud in my coffin
I told you no bitches can cuff me
I hate the way you be talking
[Verse 2]
On my selfish shit
Swim alone, I’m drowning rich
Forward with the facts
Don’t turn back, you’ll regret that shit
On my selfish shit
Swim alone, I’m drowning rich
Forward with the facts
Don’t turn back, you’ll regret that shit
On my selfish shit
Swim alone, I’m drowning rich
Forward with the facts
Don’t turn back, you’ll regret that shit
On my selfish shit
Swim alone, I’m drowning rich
Forward with the facts
Don’t turn back
Bitch, we know that you’re evil
Evil, envy, envy
Leave me alone, hell is my home
I told you fuck off, you’re leaching my soul, lose all control
Why ask me questions that make me ask questions I already know? [Verse 1]
Why you mad? Why you hurt?

Lil Baby – Southside Lyrics

Solitary stones in my ear, these the clear ones
These diamonds dancin’ too loud in my ear, so I don’t hear them
My homie got the stick, I got the glizzy
We don’t fear them
These niggas don’t wanna play with us
I swear that we gon’ kill them
[Hook]
I just got some stupid dome from this hoe from the Southside
Long live Troop, my OG man, that nigga from the Southside
Shout out Deezy and them Lo’s who crippin’ on the Southside
I get bags in for the low and send them to the Southside
Yeah, I’m sellin’ coke for real
I put the d in dope, for real
Saint Laurent on my coat, for real
That draco, that draco
I’m with the reds in Clayco
Shoutout to (?) that nigga a real one
We had them bands in the neighborhood I thought you was a real one? [Intro]
Southside on the track, yeah
Southside
Southside
Yeah
Strapped
[Hook]
I just got some stupid dome from this hoe from the Southside
Long live Troop, my OG man, that nigga from the Southside
Shout out Deezy and them Lo’s who crippin’ on the Southside
I get bags in for the low and send them to the Southside
Yeah, I’m sellin’ coke for real
I put the d in dope, for real
Saint Laurent on my coat, for real
That draco, that draco
I’m with the reds in Clayco
Shoutout to (?) that nigga a real one
We had them bands in the neighborhood
[Verse 1]
Temp fade, new jays
All day, catch plays
White tee, dope boy
Move that dope, boy
Trappin’ out the bando
Servin’ out the window
Tryna run our mills up
That’s what we pay the rent fo’
Fuck it up in the Gucci sto’, them M’s in
Bad bitch lookin’ like Bernice, I call her Slim Jim
I just want push start on my car
Shoutout the hood, they know I’m a god
They know we bang wherever we are
I just took these cuts on stage
Look at these VVS’ in my chain
I’m doing better, I can’t even complain
Bought a plane, then I brew out the brain
Breaking Bad, make the bitch go insane
With the gang, I ain’t switchin’ no name
Paper tag, got me switchin’ these lanes
Doing these thangs to get me some chains
These niggas be fuckin’ for fame
[Hook]
I just got some stupid dome from this hoe from the Southside
Long live Troop, my OG man, that nigga from the Southside
Shout out Deezy and them Lo’s who crippin’ on the Southside
I get bags in for the low and send them to the Southside
Yeah, I’m sellin’ coke for real
I put the d in dope, for real
Saint Laurent on my coat, for real
That draco, that draco
I’m with the reds in Clayco
Shoutout to (?) that nigga a real one
We had them bands in the neighborhood
[Verse 2]
I’m doin’ shit that they wishin’ they could
I’m the frontrunner, break right through the hood
They hated on me, but it’s still all good
Draco on me, and it’s still all wood
I’m on probation, they let off a fool
They on my drip, tryna see what I do
They takin’ notes, tryna study my moves
They tryna do what I do
All-Star weekend, I was gettin’ the pack in
Heard you got your shit took
Nigga you lackin’
Big body Benz (?) with the backend
Real street niggas buyin’ (?) with the backends
These niggas ain’t authentic, they actin’
And I ain’t get to the money, they cappin’
What happened?